For Tammy

who will accept sympathy from all parties who can commiserate...

1 AM Polish Standard Time

Get on train- check
Leave Kyiv- check
Write letters on train while heading for Poland- check
Ukr’n passport control- check
Polish passport control- check
Polish customs- ummmmmmm (definitely not check)

Passport control happened quite awhile ago and The Snorer and I were sleeping once more. I had been aware for awhile of vague bangings and tappings from down towards the other end of the corridor. But then the time came when it became impossible to stubbornly sleep through it all – maybe because our compartment was suddenly flooded with bright light. In a semi-wakeful state, I was aware of people milling around in the corridor. Suddenly there’s a Big Burly Dude outside our door… he growls something and The Snorer (mind you, not far from ‘full-snore-mode’) tumbles out the door. About a minute later Big Burly Boy sticks his head back inside and this time I realize he’s speaking Polish, not growling and what he’s just said is Ma’am, please step into the corridor. Oh groan and yuck.

Let’s look at some (cell-phone) pix. I hope you can see them well enough to get the picture…

Unscrewed the panel that joins the wall to the ceiling- the white there? cartons of cigarettes.

Came out of the ceiling (that's my bed on the left)

I’m pretty sure at 1 am most of these people would rather be somewhere other than hovering in the hallway while border patrol rips their sleeping compartments apart.

The haul from our ceiling- 54 cartons. (that’s the corner of my bed you see in the right hand corner, fyi…I wish I was in it.) Oh- and a similar haul from the compartment next door is visible in the background

This whole scene is repeated every single time this train makes this trip. What a hopeless situation. You’d think they’d get tired of the whole deal. Tired of taking the train apart in Kyiv and stuffing it full of contraband. Tired to taking it apart on the border and hauling it out. Tired of putting it all back together again… Every. Single. Day.

I spent the first part of the trip with a very nice lady a bit older than me. She lives in Kazakhstan now but was back to see family and take care of a few things. She’s from Western Ukr and for awhile in the 90’s, she ‘made her living’ smuggling alcohol and cigarettes into Poland- she says it was the only thing to do. Could be. I asked her how much they made each trip: $10.

I’ve been watching these smugglers for a long time and believe me, you’d have to pay me a whole lot more than $10 to go through that stress. They sweat. They swear. They run. They fret and worry and bite their nails. I’m sure they’re making more now, but there’s no way they make what it’s worth. The thing is, I reckon the cigarettes are just the tip of a much meaner iceberg. The amount they haul out- heaps, bags and bags (we’re talking Hefty Hefty Cinch Sack size bags…or bigger)… how can it be worth it? because they’re not taking it all… not all the cigarettes… not all the vodka… and not any of what’s likely nestled down deep in some wall… The Poles make a big show of tearing it apart. Oh They Do. But there are whole sections of wall they never touch. They never looked at 90% of our compartment- just tore into that one part…and believe me, you could take this place apart a whole lot more. But the deal is- there’s other stuff going through that no one touches, no one talks about… we saw it once when 2 rookies accidentally found some. Bags of white powder… in the wall… now what do you think that was? Powdered sugar probably. And it never left the train till after we did…

The border patrol people don't put the place back together again after they've torn it apart. Our neighbor asked Who's going to pick this all up and put the ceiling back up. Oh, Pahn (Sir) here will, they replied, indicating the frustrated conductor. And he did. The junior pip-squeak one. He got to crawl into every compartment and put stuff back together. And when he was doing ours, I noticed that his ragged slippers had been mended my stapling them. Somehow, at 1.30 am, that sight was depressing and sad and made me want to never ride that train again. If I don't see it, It's not happening, Right?

huh?

Tues am: Uncle D had been here, getting ready to leave for a 3 month trip to Australia/N Zealand... time of departure is nearing. From this apt- excluding taxis, which are expensive- the fastest way, generally, to get to the airport is to trot 10 min or so (depending on how fast you trot) to the metro, go 7 stops on the metro (about 30 min, maybe less, I don't pay much attention actually) to the train station, go through the tunnel and exit at the South Station and get on the airport bus. This trip is an hour if there are no major traffic jams- so the deal is, you don't leave for the airport at the last min. So, What was I talking about? Oh- Unc'a D- so, he gets his shirt ironed... this is important because... well, it just is. And, more so because the next thing that happens is the lights are gone- zip... and Elain's ironing comes to a screeching halt as do a few other things. Fine. Unc'a D is nonetheless ironed, starched and ready to leave for the airport... now, we're on the 13th floor, so I'm thinking that I really hope he doesn't want help getting to the airport... I mean, going down 13 flights of steps is one thing...but coming back up them, if by chance the power is off for a long time- well, yikes... Ummm.... Whew- nope, he'll go by himself. Where are the stairs? I'll show you I say... and out the door, down the hall, around the corner, around the corner we go- There, I say. Have a good trip... We'll try not to burn the house down while you're gone.


Coming back, I notice that all the lights in the hallway are on and the elevator is running... ooops. (should I include that in an email to the poor man who hauled a suitcase and carry-on bag down 13 flights of steps?)


Well, this does not bode well for us. We investigate the breaker box. Nothing amiss there... but we do notice that the meters for the neighbors' apts are all whirring away. Yuck. Call the housing people. Call the electrician. He has a voice like an elephant on sandpaper. Where? You gunna be home this afternoon? You gunna be home tonight? Well OK.


And we spent the whole day without power. In the early evening, Phyllis says I hear someone out in the hall- will you just stick your head out and see if it's the electrician? I do. It is. He's got the neighbor's meter all pulled apart. Tell him our dilemna. He grins. 10 min later, the lights come on. We pay him and he leaves (he wanted liquor but we were out...)

About 8.30 pm there's someone at the door. I open it- a man with a voice like an elephant on sandpaper. Tu....8 (our address) apartment 000? umm, yesssss... (me) Well, your lights. huh? (me) YOUR LIGHTS. I'm so sorry, I say. Someone already fixed it; I thought it was you people.


long. deadly. silence.


WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?


I'm really really sorry... I thought you'd already been here...


he stalked off... I picked my jaw off the floor, went back into the apt and Colin locked the door again. We all just stared at each other and began to laugh. No one knows Who On Earth fixed the electricity that day. I did feel sorry for the poor man still out making house calls...

ps- just kidding about the liquor... he wanted it but we don't pay that way.

dry gulch

I'm pretty sure that's a Louis L'amour book... if it's not, it had outta be. It also sort of describes where my creative juices have gone to... (If I ever had any to begin with...)

I've been saving a few comics, so I'll post a few of them. One of the things I miss the most about America is the Funny Page... well there's a few online sites with 'deliver-them-to-your-inbox' freebie service...yay!

haha- I love Old Baby...

I feel your pain....

Any more questions? (the chick with the tall pointy hair- hmmm, the only chick in the pic- that's me)

some days are just like that

This one last because: When I got back to the States 3 years ago (3 years ago?!) my oldest nephie, Forrest (3 1/2 at the time) had an imaginary friend named Pootie. The amazing thing was F could tell you all the details of P's life, how the day had gone for him, all about his friends, their names and their histories. And if you asked him a week later, he'd tell you the same basic things- it was a real novel going on in his head. I really enjoyed those visits with him. Then convs, special mtgs and more sp mtgs happened and I wasn't around F so much for a bit. Sometime after his 4th birthday, I asked Forrest- how's Pootie? He just looked at me like What ARE you talking about??? It was a sad moment in my life. That whole period of his life had passed so quickly. I was just glad I'd gotten in on a little bit of it. F is in school now and has real friends. I need to talk to him and find out about them!

Answer to riddle

a fgh an (afghan)

mental floss, anyone?

One of my favorite rss feeds is the Mental Floss blog feed... I seldom go to the actual site, but I enjoy skimming through their posts on the feed reader if I have time. Here's today's 'Brain Game':

Indefinite articles on each side

Three alphabetical letters inside

Made of wool, made with pride
What am I?

And a link to a fun-looking puzzle post... I didn't even try it; too tired and time to hit the hay.

Spent most of the day going back and forth between the national university and the apartment. Got a 'backup' invitation from them. Soon, will be exiting stage 'west' to see about getting a visa. In between runs to the Univ (which take 2 hours each), did laundry, ate lunch, started a picture project... if it turns out, I'll post a picture here...

Thanks for all the sweet comments on the anniversary post! :) I want to go through my heaps and heaps of photo files and find more... but that will take some time...

Adios.... zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Answer to riddle: a fgh an (afghan)

Happy Anniversary to me

Eight years ago yesterday, Oct 13, my enormously numerous and heavy 'suitcases' and I first set foot (and eyeballs) on Ukraine. The girls were asking me questions in class last night, including 'How long have you been here?' which sort of jolted me into awareness of the day. It has been a wonderful, seldom dull, amazing 8 years! In honor of the occasion, I'm going to toss up some of my favorite pix from the past 8 years... It will be a long post... get your popcorn and Dew... (pix in no special order)

this was my mental therapy a few years

Mom and Dad had the time of their lives...and the first thing we did was haul them across country on the train...

you want good apples? Come on over!

I loved following the change of seasons out this window (kitchen in Western Ukr)

Taras (a few years ago!) looking at Country magazine

people dear beyond words
ditto
I'll quit saying ditto... you already knew that

this was proly the most fun bday I've had over here

well, the hat... the hat... :)
I love it that you can take walks like this

NW Ukr in late June... poppies are weeds- but, Wow, they're beautiful
I looked out this window, saw window boxes with flowers and said, Wow, that's just like Austria... Karen said, You need to get back to Austria...
:)
can you see the license plate?
the land of fresh produce... oh me oh my...

one of the most beautiful 'Old Towns' in existance
these 3 are a for real loom and spinning operation. I love love love the colors


well, we had good times in this kitchen, eh? But we're glad and thankful the woodburning stove is gone...

saturday... humor, thoughts, stuff

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do? Spit out the corn dog and go back to looking for a Twinkie? Chew a bit and think Well, maybe I could do with a corn dog? Put it down and wait to see if it turns into a Twinkie? Who really needs Twinkies, anyway? Look for the ketchup?

****************************************************************

Visit today was way off the wall different than we expected. Sometimes you're really aware that there's stuff going on... swirling... howling... all around you- but you're not quite sure what it is. And you just sort of dropped in. It'll be really interesting to see what happens next time we go.

*****************************************************************

This next bit... let's just say... 's a funny (or not) thing when you're an observer and you can see a potential train wreck coming but not a lot you can do about it because Who really wants to Hear it? But then, sometimes train wrecks don't actually happen. But, is it a smart thing to play on the tracks if there's a train due? It's like playing Chicken. You might not die but the consequences can be life-altering.

*****************************************************************

Sighhhh... I'm going to go see if they've suddenly started selling Twinkies here... that kind of train wreck I can deal with... you fix it by going on a diet...

*****************************************************************

Oh- forgot the humor. Really. Here it is... and I about fell out of my chair laughing... talk about train wrecks... and pain

fantastic bit of trivia for the day

(Really, it is fantastic... I mean, did YOU know this?)

Mace and Nutmeg are 2 spices made from the fruit of the same tree... Yup... and if you're making custard or pumpkin pie or are present where someone ELSE is doing this (and you're going to be one of the very fortunate eaters of said wonderful dish) you might be able to use this fantastic bit of trivia yourself...and wow their socks off, I'm sure! :)

Not only THAT, but nutmeg is toxic in high doses and a mild hallucinogen.

And then there's this amazing personal library- in my feed reader, from Kottke.org. Usually I just skim through this stuff, but this looked fascinating...and it was.

In other news- or rather a general comment... You guys who've been doing the yearbook thing: it's hilarious! I might try it...and I might or might not post the results... I'll say this much: You couldn't pay me to actually post a for-real 1989 pic of myself on here... oh my mercy no... ok, I had one Sr pic that was ok; mostly, though, I looked like the total nerd that I was...and I'm more than glad to be out of that time period! lol

I have some bdays to post but I'm dead tired so here you go instead

First, you discard my outside

And cook my inside.

Then, you eat my outside

and discard my inside.
What am I?

The official answer is corn on the cob... but very careful consideration (this is important, after all) of Maja's fish answer leads me to say that she gets full marks, too! (bet you didn't know this was such a big-shot competition, eh?) giggle

public service message #2

This is scary. Internet shopping... be careful.

'nuff said.

One thing about life in Kyiv- you spend a lot of your time on public transportation. And because of the location of Colin and Elaine's apartment, we spend heaps of time on the metro. And let me just say that this is quite preferable to buses, trams and trolleys. You don't have traffic jams on the metro...ever. What you do have, though, are 'people jams'... yup. Yesterday and today, we literally had to shove ourselves in- sandwich in. And when you're in, you can't fall over, you can't turn, you can't do a thing... you're lucky if you can breathe. And you're downright thrilled if you don't have some big-haired bushy-tailed taller-than-you-chick with her hair drifting around in the same space your mouth, nose, chin, eyes are occupying. We won't even talk about your nose cohabiting with said person's armpits... no, we'll just leave that to everyone's good imagination. Something else you see a LOT of is this phenomenon: each wall has a bench on it which *surprise*

has people sitting on it... and they are often fast asleep... yes, eyes shut tight. How can this be, you ask. Don't they worry about missing their stop? Oh no- no worries. See, they're not actually asleep. It is the height of rudeness to stay seated when someone quite obviously older, more handicapped or 'with child' than you are is standing... but, who wants to get up when you've managed to get a seat, complete with all that uncluttered space for your mouth and nose to occupy? No one, that's who. Sleeping solves the problem, since you obviously aren't even aware- Oh, I'm SO sorry... didn't notice you tottering all over the place there... so sorry... *shaking head apologetically*





Phyllis says she gets a notion to make pie sometimes... just every now and again, you know. And she's been talking about peaches and pies for awhile now... so the other day, coming home from somewhere or other, she sort of sashayed through the market and came back with peaches... and then not long after that, she started in on some pie crust. This particular recipe uses butter (I don't know beans about pie crust; I just know when I eat it if it's good or not.) I helped with the converting from tablespoons of butter to grams and all that. Later, we ate this confection... apparently we messed up the butter calculation... ahem... apparently we had too much... but I'll tell you this- that was one to-die-for crust... *WOW* You want melt in your mouth? Well it did... and the peach filling was not too bad, either! ahhhhh ;)






Why is it a good thing for native English speakers to pitch in and help around here? So that someday in the happy bright sunny future, we can stamp out signs like the one on the left here... photographed by Karen on the window of an upscale shop in downtown Odessa... that's one reason.


ok- that's enough for today. Today was another long day, mostly spent running around this very large city. Tomorrow will be another full day. Time to quit! Adios!

mental health break II

Apparently this title has already been used... had to go look to confirm it...

Here's your *dumb stuff* for the day

thoity doity black boids sittin' on a coid just a choipin' and a boipin' and a eatin' doity woims. Along came a joik from a shoit factowy in Joisey and when HE saw those thoity doity black boids sittin' on a coid just a choipin' and a boipin' and a eatin' doity woims... boy was he poi-tuhbed...

It means absolutely nothing at all; some wise soul taught it me about 14 years ago at preps... this Animal Crackers reminded me of it, that's all

So today was a big day. All the details really wouldn't add much to your life- let's just say that lunch finally happened when I tumbled off of the metro and into McDonald's at around 3pm... zipped by the outside of the bazaar on my way home and nearly tripped over a little old grandma crouched down by some stray vegetable and flowers she was trying to sell. The small bouquet was a bright arrangement of mums. As I was about to fly over her, I thought: We need those. How much, I ask. 7 hryvnya ($1.40). Here, she said, take this one for 7, too. So I did. A big bunch of brick red mums. So, we now have mums in 4 vases- kitchen, hallway, Phyllis' room and my room. This pic is of the ones in my room- I just swiped a few blooms for a little tiny jar I have; the vast majority are elsewhere.

We haven't seen a pic yet of Phyllis, you say? Oh- my bad. Here you go...

public service message #1

this was on my Google Reader today. I'm posting a link to it because I think it's something worth 'soapboxing' about... worth running into the ground.

Don't Do Antibiotics if you Don't Need Them

the people in our lives

Colin and Elaine share their home with us. They rent an apartment here in Kyiv and Phyllis and I each have a room in it. Lucky? Yep. Spoiled? More than a little. Happy and glad? For sure!











Fergie and Hazel just returned today- they live in another part of the country but we were more than happy to have them swing by here for a few hours between landing at the airport and their train tonight.

I thought we got a pic of Don and Phyllis- but apparently all those pix are on Don's camera... :( So, no shot of them. They were here for a couple months but left on a flight this am for the US. Good-bye, Safe Journey and Thanks!!! xo

and if any of you NE peeps see or hear from/of them could you just drop me a comment? Something like: They got back, they're alive, all's well... something like that, OK? Thanks!! To the unknown Renee- I read your comment re D & P while they were in the kitchen eating breakfast...and on my way to the kitchen to tell them "Renee just said she knows you (or some such clever thing)"... ummmm- well, the sad truth is, my train of thought totally derailed and never got out of the station... I remembered about it after we got back from the airport, having seen them off.... sighhhhhhhh

There have been several couples (and several single people) who came here to live- sometimes for a month, sometimes for as long as a year or more; some come regularly, some come once. It's a real treat for us!

on the sly again

came across my sandals yesterday- I'd gotten them cleaned up and ready to pack away till next year but one shoe needed some repairing. I'd noticed a little shoe repair stand about 5 min from the apartment. Away we go, my shoe and I. This is the man who did the work...while I waited... and he was so unique, I couldn't help myself...I just couldn't. So, while he was hand-sewing my sandal, I casually played with my deadly cell phone... teehee...

Here's the thing- he's not young, as you can clearly see. But the music blaring from his stand was Russian pop and he was nodding his head, rocking on his chair and singing along... Whenever he said something, I had to ask him to repeat it, so then he'd mumble and turn the radio way down, say what he had to say, turn the music back up and carry on... really, I hope more of my shoes bust this year. It's well worth the trip to his little stand.

The boot in the foreground? I watched him glue and then nail on that spike heel. And he was singing to the boot the whole time... lovely...

comically

Alaina's recent question (about comics) prompted this... someone sent this to me tonight... it worked... a few lines of the song ran round and round in my head for awhile... just wanted to do my part.

Had my first class tonight. It went well. It's pretty low-stress and simple. The class has a teacher who does the big stuff; my part is to take the last hour and work on conversation with them covering the topic the teacher worked on... sort of... at any rate, conversation is my part and believe me, I can do that... oh yes... I'm all over that... and what I like about this particular group of students is they're not afraid to talk. Some of the kids we've worked with... well, let's just say I've had better conversations with stubborn toasters that didn't want to give up their toast...

How are my earworms doing?

...Blue Ridge Mowntains, Shenando-ahhhh Riiiiverrrrrrrr...

hahahaha

missing the piano

We had a really good day today. Unwinding after supper and phone calls and such stuff...and I got all 'piano-ey'

ended up on YouTube...with this completely amazing kid. I think I started out looking for a decent rendition of Peter Piper... I've loved that since the first time I heard it; even halfway learned to play it once upon a time. Not so long ago...must have been in Spain, I guess- actually got to touch a piano... you know, the real deal...and tried Peter Piper and failed miserably. Oh well.

See this Mutt?

Yesterday we were out in a village visiting (here's a shocker) some people... yup. So we're walking from the bus stop to their house...and this dog sort of starts accompanying us. But she's peculiar because it's clear immediately that, while she's hovering around us, she has NO CLUE that we were there. So I watched her. She had a hitch in her get-along, for sure... sort of sway-backed, sort of hip dysplasia-ed (I'm not sure that's a real word, but let's just assume it is)... and she's a 100% serious, totally dedicated car chaser... and we just happened to walk along the stretch of road that was her responsibility... and she was responsible, let me tell you... she kept them informed of the rules along her piece of territory. And she had form... and a pattern... and a keen eye. I'm not just sure how she knew which cars needed informing, but she just did. She'd scope out every single vehicle, slinking along at a fast lope, swaying in the backend to beat the band and mostly she'd turn away reluctantly, apparently aware that they already KNEW... but then, ooooo, here comes another one... slink...lope...sniff...think... and Launch- really, she did this gracefully... and, get this, she always launched herself right at a tire. Now, I'm predicting that she dies a horrible death fairly soon. I mean, she touched some of those tires with her snapping teeth, I'm sure of it. I'd never seen anything quite like it. A true connoisseur of cars and tires and barking. She knew- she just knew- how to do it. It's her job.

As head of road-side security.

I'm going to call her Hankette... because she barked those cars along... and because she really is a SHE... I know...

this was on my Yahoo news page... so why worry about the economy when exciting things like this are happening??? really... looks like a bright future to me... oh yes...

My Grandpa B's 88th (I sure thought he was older... how come?) is Sunday. Proly 99% of you have never laid eyes on him and because of our family background, I have no pix of him to post... so he shall remain a mystery to you... BUT- he is my own dear Grandpa... Happy Birthday, Daudy!

Speaking of bdays- one that I missed earlier this month:

Happy Belated Birthday Lori! I reckon you survived without me but I am sorry that I missed it!

of course, this crazy lady just had a bday, too... we've been called twins- poor her, that's what I have to say.

there are others that I've missed and others that are coming. Somehow, this is where my thoughts were right now!

ciao for now!

5th grade math

that's what they say this is. I don't know. (are there any 5th graders out there? Can you tell us, please?)
so, in digging through my inbox, I found the following in an email from this summer. It came right when we were swamped with stuff, so I never tried it till tonight... I came up with the right answer...can you? Post your answer in the comments and I'll let you know if you're right!

This is a 5th grade math problem. This is not a trick question. This is a real math problem so don't say that a bus has no legs. There is no bus driver.
There are 7 girls in a bus. Each girl has 7 backpacks. In each backpack, there are 7 big cats. For every big cat there are 7 little cats.
Question: How many legs are there in the bus?

heeheeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee good luck!

Solution:
ok- I wanted to leave it till this afternoon (it's afternoon here at any rate). Correct answer is...
*cheesy grin, evil cackle*
10,990
Since he so kindly typed it all out and sent it in a message, I'll just paste in Murray P's solution... why break my brain on it again, right? (I was never so fond of word probs in school, either, actually)
bus has 7 girls
each girl has 7 backpacks
each backpack has 7 big cats
7 big cats or 28 legs associated with big cats in each backpack
7 little cats for each big cat or 28 little cat legs x 7 or 196 kitten legs
so then each backpack has 196 kitten legs + 28 big cat legs = 224 legs in each backpack
since each girl has 7 backpacks then 224 legs X 7 = 1568 plus two girl legs for 1570 legs per girl/backpack/cat mess
but there are 7 girls so then 1570 legs x 7 = 10,990 legs
or
7 girls with 7 backpacks is 49 backpacks
7 kittens x 7 big cats for a total of 49 kittens per backpack + 7 cats in each backpack is 56 cats in each backpack
49 packs x 56 cats = 2,744 cats & kittens x 4 legs = 10,976 legs
plus14 girly legs = 10,990 legs
assuming of course that the cats don't have any fleas!

Still here

Phyllis and I spent a couple hours this am with this little guy and his mom. Little kids are so interesting. I just love how he watches everything from a safe distance, taking it all in. As soon as we got there, I started talking to him... no response... zip... zero... nadda... Later, he politely and dutifully showed me a pretty cool 'moving parts' city bus toy that he has... but still no response to me. Then, we looked at a bunch of pix on their computer, drank tea, ate a cookie and a piece of candy. He solemnly watches the whole thing. Then, he took his candy wrapper and threw it me and *boom* we're best buddies... laughing, giggling, chattering... it cracks me up...and I love it. What is it that finally tips the scale in their little minds?

We had about 2 hours of actual honest-to-goodness sunshine today... this after over a week of rain every single day (and most of those days it was rain all day long), solid clouds and COLD... brrrr... as in there's-no-heat-it's-cold-where-are-my-wool-socks-and-long-johns cold....

Which brings me to this: I used to have a down comforter for winter but left it for Pat to use. Wool blankets are fine but don't fit in the duvet cover and tend to get all twisted up (this is a vital piece of info, yessirreeeee). So, out I go to find something that'll stop the night-time shivers. I found something like this (except for a tiny fraction of what they're listed for here). I'd never even heard of camel hair stuff (I proly haven't lived, I know). Well, Wow- it's great. I love it. I highly recommend it. (I will accept endorsement fees.) It will go with me from now until death doth uth part... :)

Next Mon, I start teaching... yikes... help... what?!
(aside to self: *calm down*)
Just one class Mon night- English conversation. Will likely also have maybe 2 other classes later in the week. We'll see how it goes. This is absolutely nothing zip zero compared to what some people have...but I like to say that I never aspired to be an English teacher... I sort of had cows in mind... and I sort of never planned on teaching them anything. It had a whole lot more to do with wellness and healthy living for the Bovines in your life (are there any there?)... good thing I like people and like to talk talk talk blah blah blah