In doing some computer housekeeping this afternoon, I came across a post I'd started to write earlier.

In our rambling this afternoon, we came back through the center of town, past this very quiet and now nearly empty place. But being here brought back some very clear and sharp memories from Feb 20, 2014. That was a chilly day. That was the day that snipers were on the rooftops in downtown Kyiv, picking off people from the streets and squares below. Aiming for people wearing special white vests with red crosses on them designating them as medics. The day we flew out of our apartment in an almighty hurry when we realized that our dear girl, my co's youngest sister a medical student was actually still in town. She was part of a group of about 40 doctors and medical students from our city who were leaving for Kyiv but their departure had been delayed. There was a desperate need for trained medics in Kyiv. She'd been there often before, during some of the worst days to bring medical help to wounded people. But this time felt so much more uncertain than the other times.

This quiet street was where the bus was loading and we got down here in time to tell her good-bye and hug her tight and wish her the best... and hold our breaths and hope that all would be well. I don't remember that there were any tears shed by anyone there. Everyone was sober and determined. About half a block away was a large public meeting in the main city square where public officials were going over safety measures for our city. 

So much has happened since then.

So much. 

I've sometimes written about it, mostly I haven't. What can you write? Thousands have died. Thousands. At least one army pilot was kidnapped inside Ukraine and taken to Russia where she's been accused of crimes; she's been imprisoned there, illegally, for months. 

For a long time, we were so thankful that at least none of those nearest and dearest had been called up by the army. 

At the end of January, I was having a pre-bus bread and honey snack when an army officer came calling with the notification for the man of that home. He's my age, exactly. His wife is my dear friend; so is his bro-in-law. He has 2 young children. We were all stunned. Of course it could happen; was bound to. But then it did. 

Because of poor health, he was deemed unfit to serve, thankfully. (With the proviso that if war is declared- or martial law- he must report.)

Several weeks ago we were with another man, a contact, who'd been called up in the very first wave of mobilization last spring. He served his 12 months and was deactivated. Alive, whole, healthy. It was a huge comfort and relief to see someone who came home from the army in one piece; so many don't.

Another friend's young son, 17, was 'called up'.... but because he's not yet of legal age (to serve) and because he's a student, he was deferred.

And today we received word that one of the dearest got his papers and was declared fit. He goes this week. He's 49. He has a wife, 6 kids. In fact- those 2 up there? The 2 sisters? They're his oldest and youngest daughters. I cannot imagine what this summer will be like without him. 

And that youngest one. She's still a med student, 3rd year. And she's still actively involved in training military medics. Many weekends, she's near the front where she hears constant gunfire. She trains soldiers battlefield first aid.

So much of this is hard to understand. It has at times kept me awake all or most of the night. It has at times made it hard to read, to pray, to concentrate. It has completely altered life here. Many grocery stores have collection bins for goods that the soldiers need; many collection tins for funds for the army and private militias. And many many people, in spite of very difficult times financially, give and give and give. 

There is comfort in several firm facts: 

• God doesn't give us more than He gives strength to cope with.
• Nothing is beyond His strength and control.
• We see a small part of the picture; God sees the whole picture.
• God has a plan- it is to save the souls of men. This He does. 
• There are things that are more important than even natural life. IE- Life is more than bread and the body more than clothing.
• God will care for those who trust Him.

So- we continue to trust. Someday, this will be history. We don't know how it will end, we don't know when it will end. But it will. No storm lasts forever. 

I've shared things on Facebook, sometimes. Often I haven't. Then someone says: You need to so that people know what's going on. So I've shared again for a bit. But really? People- Russia is in Ukraine- tanks, heavy artillery, soldiers. This is not a Ukrainian civil war- this is Ukraine trying to get Russia out. Why is Russia here? We don't know. Not really. Why can't the two countries live as neighbors with independent governments? I don't know. But apparently one can't imagine life without the other while the other is desperately trying to create life outside of the domination of the other. Yes, there was a ceasefire. No, it's not the first. No, it's not actually been adhered to...at least not by the rebels and Russians. Ukrainian troops and heavy artillery were withdrawn from the front lines; the other side simply takes that territory. And so it goes. So someday, hopefully, I'll be here to tell you about how it all ended. But that day is not today.

And yes, this is partly why I really haven't blogged much the past year (although I was on a decline, post-wise before this all started). So much just doesn't seem important in light of the current situation. 

xo

A few shots from our trip to downtown Kyiv on Monday. We roamed the area where the protesters and government forces faced off in the winter. Lots of impressions and emotions. And very vivid memories of what it felt like to 'watch' from afar the last 3 days of fighting (Feb 18 - 20)- following posts on Twitter and Facebook as government forces nearly swamped the last of the protesters and then as the snipers mowed them down that last awful day. And how it felt to go down to the central square here in our city as we saw off our own dear child- the little girl who used to play doctor with all her dolls and teddy bears- she once hooked her teddy up to a working IV- he got soaking wet- No longer a little girl, she's now a 2nd year medical student and spent many hours in Kyiv working in several of the field hospitals there. When we said good-bye to her that night, the snipers were still shooting and the situation looked desperate. The busload from our city was determined, upbeat and sober- but no tears. Most of them were men. Everyone had one or two people seeing them off. The whole lot of us were very sober and quiet...but there were no tears shed that I saw. Thankfully (for us), by the time that bus got to Kyiv, Parliament had passed several measures that halted violence. 

These are just a few of the pix. For the full album, go to this link (on facebook). 

Name of our city (Ternopil) with the name of a local boy who was killed in the fighting; I wonder if this is where he died......

brave new world

More than a month since the last post. Things got really dicey really fast right then and just took my breath away. And it's just been hard to get the 'umph' to write. There have been some very encouraging days in there but also lots of very uncertain days. Ukraine is in brand new territory, feeling her way through. As has been echoed from everyone from the new government on down, We never even thought to prepare a defense of some kind against Russia; we never could have imagined that we'd need one. 

But need it they do. And prepare it they have...or are. 

The army began mobilizing about 3 weeks ago. One of the things the last pres did (the one who was impeached) was to nearly do away with the army (never mind that, number-wise, it's still the largest in Europe). A voluntary conscription was begun and thousands have signed up. Including many relatives and neighbors and acquaintances of my students. And some of my own acquaintances. 

And, of course, lots of military movement and training. And fund raising. 

The bright side of this? There are several, actually. 

-People need each other, they need us, we need them- we all feel it. People are listening intently and with need. And on the streets and in the stores and buses- people are nice to each other. Polite. Kind. It's been interesting to note.

-Not nearly as many drunks. In fact, since the holidays ended mid January, I've seen probably a handful. And usually there were that many a day. 

And that brings me to this: Purpose.

One day, my friend and I were walking along the road and noticed a small dog tearing along in a straight line- Point A to Point B, that was very clear. 

There goes a dog with a purpose, One of us said.

Zoom- another, larger dog goes tearing along hot on the heels of the first dog.

And there goes his purpose, The other one said.

And we laughed.

But we're like those dogs- We need something to focus on, to motivate us, to get us moving in a straight line. We need a purpose. Many Ukrainians have found a purpose that they didn't have. 

There is a better purpose, even, than theirs. I'm glad I have a purpose.  

Yesterday has a new name- Bloody Tuesday

A post is in order, I suppose. But I'm not much in the mood for it. I'll put in a link to some pix I posted to facebook- although the album is private, this link should give you access to it. I haven't yet written about this on this blog at all, I don't think, although I've thought about it more than once. This winter has been a very tense one here- although I've not felt threatened or in danger at all. We have been able to go about our business without any problem. (Except for this morning's trip to our city's downtown area, I have stayed completely away from the areas where 'stuff' has been happening since late last Nov.) It seems

Ternopil police admin building last night (video of the destruction- this has been or is being repeated in many cities throughout the country- it seems that ours was first.)
And the prosecutor's office (also a video)
And the court (video)
And here's a video of the police in another city NW of ours (Lutsk) being escorted out of their admin building to chants of 'shame' and other (not very nice) things. The title of this video is 'For policemen in Lutsk they organized a corridor of honor' with the last two words being in quotes as obviously, it's a walk of shame.
There are many many pix and videos and links from Euromaidan/Evromaidan/Євромайдан #tags on twitter and pages on facebook and instagram. What a fool this man has been to push the people this far.

And I've pretty well lost my appetite for this kind of thing. I never had much of one to begin with, actually, although I've seen enough here to make me wish for physical change for this country. It's good to keep in mind that there is a much greater power than any displayed in these pix or videos that has been true and will be always.