at times you feel far away

I've been lucky- very lucky. Both my mom's and dad's families are large; there were always plenty of cousins to play with at family gatherings and lots of aunts and uncles...and up until 2 1/2 years ago, I still had both sets of grandparents- and Grandma B and Grandpa J always wrote. Longevity seems to run in the family- on both sides. Grandma J had been in failing health for a long time and I was very glad to see her when I was home, although she didn't know me. She didn't know a lot of things- but one thing she knew- 'Home' was where Grandpa was; if he was there, they were home; if he wasn't, they needed to go home. Grandma J was in her early 90's when she died. Grandpa J is the oldest of them all but will likely outlive them all. He's spry, sharp... and I chatted with him via webcam not so long ago!
Grandma B had a bad spell and was in the hosp for (it seemed like a long time- was it a week?- All I know is the nurses thought she was adorable- she wears a night cap to bed; they'd never seen anything like her)...that was while I was home, so 2 years ago. Grandpa B, however, has long been frailer than Grandma. In the last year, there have been several incidences of falling; he's had seizures and needed med for that. Earlier this week, he landed in the hosp. At first they thought it was a stroke; then said possibly a seizure. For awhile he perked up... Thurs night, he had a massive heart attack... now we're just waiting.
My relationship with my grandparents was never what it is for some people but they cared for me, for us and I'm glad to have had them this long. Leaving the States 2 years ago was a bit tougher knowing that the likelyhood of seeing them again was slim. It feels funny thinking about them being gone- like a piece of me is missing- a funky puzzle with a couple of pieces missing. And although I've been with lots of people at this stage of life, in our family, it's hardly ever happened- as I said, longevity seems to run in the family.